I have been having this dream

Dreaming about someone

I have hurted a lot

This person

Its all strarted since end of 2018

Not long ago after he confessed

Until one night

He came to my dream

With extremely sad face

Even on my dream

I could feel the sadness within my self

I asked

"How could you end up here?"

I am asking as if I realized

How bad I was

I woke up

And starting that day

He was never skipped my mind

I think a lot about how evil I was

I was really scared with my fear

One year ago

Thats why I choose to neglect him

Even right now I might tell you 1001 reasons

To defend my self

It might sounds like an excuse

Sometimes I cried

Wishing something could happen

Or at least I could ask

A proper forgiveness

But I think over and over again

I am too ashamed of my own self

Coming out of nowhere

Asking

"Would u mind to forgive me?"

I might get mad even more if I was him

I couldnt even continue imagine that

I couldnt even imagine what his respons

Since I know

How dare I am to do that

He might feel disgusted

By seeing me on his daily social media updates

Guilt all over me

Crying over someone whose already happy?

Yes, thats your karma girl.

You deserve it.

I only write this

Because I really had no one to talk about this

With my closest friend

I am too ashamed

I swear to God

I cried few minutes ago

But realizing this time

Should be my last time

Wanting the one thats got away

Since its really wrong

To have this feeling

I am wishing all the good things for you

Dear, my best friend.